Monday, November 30, 2009


"Ryan was born on 3/26/09. I was busy working during tax season and Ryan came three weeks early. He was healthy and Shannon (my wife) and I couldn't be happier...Being a dad has been wonderful."

Two-time Team Minnesota member Dennis Dane continued:

" I had a really hard time getting motivated for the 2009 season. I loved being at home with my family. Long bike rides were not as important to me. Cutting some workouts short was okay.

"In mid-June I started to get my racing form back and ended up having a surprisingly good year. I think Curt (Wood) and Jeremy (Sartain)--whose wives are currently preggers--will go through the same thing. They will find it hard to work-out, but will eventually find a way to schedule training around family time."

If you know Dennis, you know that he is sickeningly humble and generous. He's a devote Christian and family man. A CPA, he's never been indicted, much less convicted.

He seems squeaky-clean and too darn good to be true. Right?

But he has a dark side. In fact, he's a killer!

Dennis "The Hunter" Dane has taken more life, including Bambi! (see photo below!) than Freddie Krueger, Hannibal Lecter and Jeffery Dalmer combined. Sure, he (Dennis) has yet to kill a human being, but he has wrought significant carnage among the ectothermic aquatic vertebrate, Galliformes and Artiodactyla populations in the upper-Midwest and central Canada. His weapons of choice: the rod, the bow and the 12-gauge.

Here's some other disturbing stuff you may not have known about the seemingly perfect Dennis Dane.

He loves to bowl. How many triathletes do you know who are "keglers," and darn good ones, to boot. Heck, he almost went pro. No kidding! He used to average 194.

Sure, bowling isn't a crime, but practitioners display odd behavior, like wearing Fart Shirts with ironed-down collars and printing on the back, e.g. Bubba's Auto Glass or Nerdlemann's Life, Home & Auto. They borrow each other's shoes, most of them smoke and a distressing number of them have "comb-overs."

Have you heard the rumors that Dennis is also a Communist sympathizer? If his drink of choice--White Russians--is any indicator, we may have a Pinko in our midst.

Here's some other stuff you may not know about about Team Minnesota's Dennis Dane:

Occupation: CPA

College? Northwestern College Where? St. Paul, MN Degrees? Bachelor's of

Science in Accounting

Favorite food: Wings

Favorite books: The Client, Babywise (things change after kids)

Favorite Movies: Forrest Gump, Catch Me If You Can

Favorite actor: Tom Hanks

Favorite TV shows: The Office, Seinfeld

Favorite Singers or Bands? Mercy Me, Casting Crowns

Favorite Songs? Mighty to Save

Favorite Junk Food: Ice Cream (is this really junk food??)

Your Perfect Meal: Chicken Parmesan with garlic bread

Favorite Restaurant: Buffalo Wild Wings

Favorite Alcoholic Beverage: White Russian

Non-Tri Hobbies: Bowling, Hunting and Fishing

Favorite Pro Teams: Twins and Cubs

Favorite College Team: HAWKEYES!

Heroes? Simon Whitfield (this guy has guts! He is a really good dad too)

Dream Vacation Destination? Canadian fishing trip

Winter Training? How do you train in the off-season? I take a few weeks off

then start with some easy training. By December I'm putting in more volume.

Tax season makes it tough to train so I have to squeeze in the workouts.

Thanks for being such a good sport Dennis. FYI, the venison was delicious. Ed.