Monday, February 15, 2010


(Photo: Joe and Georgia at Timberman. Sure, they appear happy...)

(WARNING: Most of what you are about to read couldn't be further from the truth.)

Tri-obsessive Joe "The Triathlonator" Kandiko and his lovely wife Georgia, a "if-you-can't-beat-'em-join-'em" triathlete, are terrific people. They've been together a long time, raised a remarkable family and outwardly appear to be happy. When you read their respective answers to our questionnaire, however, you'll doubtlessly surmise, as we did, that these people--Joe and Georgia Kandiko--have no business being together. He's probably just in it for the meals and laundry service; her motives are doubtlessly more mercenary. Joe is a successful physician, after all.

Here are their answers, followed by our parenthetical commentary.

OCCUPATION: Joe - Physician; Georgia - Artist, Art Teacher (Can there be more dichotomies at work here? Left brain/right brain, science vs. art, nature vs. nurture. Prognosis: Very Not Good.)

EDUCATION: Joe - Cornell and Tulane; Georgia - Michigan & Tulane (They probably have a mutual love of crawfish. If so, the prognosis isn't awful, if Joe doesn't play the "Ivy League" card too often, that is.)

BOOKS: Joe - History stuff (doesn't recall titles); Georgia - A Hundred Years of Solitude (photo) by Columbian Nobel Laureate Gabriel Garcia Marquez (Georgia probably read her favorite book in its original spanish. Prognosis: Not Good. Face it, Joe, Georgia is way too smart for you.)

MOVIES: Joe - Not really "into" movies; Georgia - Gidget (photo), Goonies & Princess Bride (Maybe Georgia isn't too smart for Joe after all? Joe's nickname at home is probably "Moon Doggie.")

ALCOHOLIC BEVERAGES: Joe -"The hard stuff, like Martinis & Manhattans; Georgia - Gin & Tonic, Wine, Martinis and "Girlie Drinks." (Ever hear of AA? The couple seems to be TOTALLY compatible in this area.)

JUNK FOOD: Joe - Ice Cream & Salt-Vinegar Chips; Georgia - Chocolate (We hope that Joe is a "Do as I say, not as I do" kind of doctor.)

RESTAURANTS: Joe - La Belle Vie, Kincaids, Palomino's, Dakota, Cafe Lurcat (Great Choices, Joe!); Georgia - Nokomis, Dakota (They're certainly compatible here. But is it enough?)

FAVE MEAL: Joe - Baked Chicken & Salad (What! Joe goes to great restaurant's and orders something as pedestrian as baked chicken and a salad? With 8-9 martinis probably!); Georgia - King Crab, asparagus and baked potato (From a culinary standpoint, Joe, your wife has outgrown you.)

NON-TRI HOBBIES: Joe - photography; Georgia - Sailing, inline skating, water color painting (Prognosis: Could be worse. It appears that Joe kinda has, like his wife, an artsy-fartsy side.)

DREAM VACATION: Joe - Captiva Island, Florida (photo); Georgia - Caribbean (Close enough, but if this couple truly wants to stay together for the long term, he should keep going to the Keys, and she should spend as many weeks as she can in Trinidad, which is the westernmost of the "major" Caribbean islands.)

ICE CREAM FLAVOR: Joe - Haagen Daz Pomegranate (photo); Georgia - Chocolate with marshmellow (Okay, this is one area where Joe has outgrown his spouse.)

DREAM JOB: Joe - no answer; Georgia - The one I have; I just wish it paid more. (Sure she does. If it paid better, she'd get the hell out of her "nowhere" marriage!)

Another thing that this totally cool and consummately compatible couple has in common is a great sense of humor. J & G, thanks for being such good sports.