Monday, December 21, 2009


Team Minnesota's Susan Williams either forgot to fill in and submit the questionnaire we sent to her, or she did and we lost it.

Probably the latter.

Truly perceptive people don't need a completed questionnaire in order to know a lot about a person. Seeing the person from afar and looking at pictures of them can sometimes reveal more than hours of conversation.

Do you buy that?

We didn't think so. Nevertheless, we're going to share our non-tri-related observations about Susan Williams. Who knows, some of this stuff may even be true.

OBSERVATION: Susan Williams is very tall. Somewhere between 5'10" and 6'5."

What does this

Well, it probably means that one or both of her parents are tall. It also suggests that she likes tall-girl stuff like runway modeling, University of Connecticut women's basketball, and Missy May-Treanor or Kerri Walsh, whichever is the taller one.

OBSERVATION: In the attached picture, Susan has a sweater tied around her neck.

What does this mean?

It means that she is "preppy" and has invariably spent a good deal of time on the East Coast, probably New Jersey. Being tall and preppy suggests that she is very smart and well educated. She probably attended a private college, like Princeton, which is in New Jersey, and studied biochemistry or runway modeling.

Also, as a person who is smart and has spent time on the East Coast, she probably enjoys the novels of Easterners Richard Russo and John Irving and has a soft-spot in her heart for vintage Simon & Garfunkel songs.

OBSERVATION: She has a beautiful smile and her teeth are white and straight.

What does this mean?

It means that she is happy, likes people, visits her dentist every six months and uses whitening strips.

OBSERVATION: She is 36-years-old. (We got this info from Lake Waconia results.)

What does this mean?

It means that she was born in 1972 or 1973. This means that she began to cultivate her taste in music in the early to mid-80s. Her favorite song was probably Tears for Fears' "Everybody Wants to Rule the World" from the album of the same name. As a person of German descent (Her maiden name is "Schaars." That's German, right?), she probably appreciated the hard-rockers from Hanover known as the Scorpions. It's a safe bet that "Rock You Like a Hurricane" is on her ipod.

OBSERVATION: Susan is not fat.

What does this mean?

She eats sensibly, which is what you'd expect from a statuesque Princeton alum who takes good care of her teeth. Probably eschews meat and is into organic stuff and vegetables that most of the rest of us couldn't identify, like kohlrabi.

She obviously does not consume junk food, though she will occasionally nibble some dark chocolate, probably Lindt's Extra Dark (85% cocao!). We all know that dark chocolate is "almost" health food.

Based on seeing her from afar and looking at her Facebook picture, we were able to glean the following about Susan Williams:

She's a very tall, un-fat, Princeton-educated, kohlrabi-and-dark-chocolate-eating, U-Conn women's basketball-loving Tears for Fears fan who never misses her dental appointments.

(NOTE: The frightening-looking round things in the bowl in one of the above pictures are kohlrabis.)